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Morning Routine
Every morning, I wake up surrounded by the carcasses of who I was in my dreams. Crawling with bugs and reeking of rot, I dismember them in my bathtub. The arm of the me who became a housewife, uncharacteristically happy about it too, goes into the trash bag right next to the foot of the…
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Time Loss
I’ve lost track of time Not just lost track, more like I’ve lost time Half of my year thrown into a deep black abyss My time left out the door you walked in through Sending me into a timeless loop where my days, weeks, and months don’t feel real Three of them deep in a…
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On Love and Birds
Love is like holding a baby bird in your hand Hold it too tight, and it will die Hold it too loose, and it will slip through your fingers and also die Hands close together with open palms and care is ideal Yet my hands can’t stop shaking I’m terrified to hurt the baby bird…
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Sinner/Saint
[TW: religion, sex] I have never been to church At least not in the religious sense I’ve toured churches for the architecture, history, and art Yet I’ve spent more time praying to gods I don’t believe in than I would like to admit On my knees, in my bed, and quietly in my head Forgive…
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Home
Home is a two-story house in Henrico County that used to have a big tree in the backyard. A creek with thorny vines, frogs, and a willow tree by a drain outlet. A playset with two swings, a slide, and monkey bars long since destroyed. A black dog following around a small child who thought…
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Black Cat/Golden Retriever
He is sunshine Warm, bright, the human embodiment of spring Safe and loving Loyal and happy He is a golden retriever I am rain Cold, dark, the human embodiment of a storm Volatile and all consuming Aloof and conflicted I am a black cat He squeezes me out of love To meld the two of…
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Butterflies
Somewhere between birth and puberty the butterflies painted on the walls of my bedroom migrated to my gut Flipping and fluttering filled with love for love Somewhere between middle school and high school graduation The butterflies in my stomach had an identity crisis Who they loved was both everyone and no one The boy with…
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(Not Boyfriend)
My boyfriend (not boyfriend) Lives in my phone and my dreams Sending me pictures of his day Robots half built and gray, industrial to their core Soccer practices interspersed with gym selfies Video games he’s ashamed of (Fortnite, it’s always Fortnite) And his body always, sometimes in the shower and often faceless All a gallery…
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Let The Bugs Eat Key Lime Pie
His favorite dessert was key lime pie and he didn’t like sweets. But we got donuts every Saturday to rot away our teeth. Rotting. That’s what I’ve been doing. Taking my feelings and putting them on ice while my body suffers. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I don’t know if I ever will. I’m…
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Bloviate
Bloviate verb, to talk at length, especially in an inflated or empty way. See: me I don’t shut up. Never have. Probably should. Someone should make me. My brain is a teleprompter constantly scrolling. Thought after thought all day and all night. If I don’t get it out, it will fester and bubble inside of…
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I Wait For Death Like A Soldier's Wife 